Happy Divorce Chapter 8 (Part 2)
Happy Divorce Chapter 8 (Part 2) Original translation is from tenderflower's blog.
When she saw the groom hugging the bride sitting on the horse, Su Manlu lowered her eyes, blinked away the sourness in her eyes, and downed a little.
But the bitterness in her heart could not be suppressed, no matter what, causing her to drink more wine, cup after cup. Then she heard a deafening scream.
Looking up, she saw Yan Feixi holding the lilac flowers the bride had thrown, walking toward her like a deity with a beautiful smile, and kneeling before her.
“Manlu, I give these to you.” He said, holding the lilacs out to her.
Su Manlu stared at the flowers, knowing that in Nanyi’s custom, the man who received the lilacs from the bride presented them to the girl he loved, hoping she would become his wife.
Wife?
She was once, once.
She waved her hand and swatted the lilacs from his grasp. Her face was calm and pale, her eyes cold and fragile as if concealing deep pain.
The lively atmosphere around them suddenly fell silent.
Su Manlu turned and left without saying a word.
Yan Feixi picked up the lilacs from the ground and chased after her without hesitation.
Su Manlu knew that she shouldn’t have lost her composure, ruined the atmosphere, let the past affect her, or lost the reason she was proud of.
But she couldn’t control herself, and her mind was full of messy and painful scenes.
On the wedding night, he had declared he didn’t want to marry her at all.
The night he violently took her, her whole body ached, but she received no sympathy, only insults and contempt.
The night she was divorced, she became the subject of everyone’s jokes. She was kicked out of the Yan mansion. She looked at the mocking expressions of the onlookers and listened to Bi Luo’s crying...
She cried and fell into Aunt Lian’s arms, her heart broken, and she murmured incomprehensibly, whether she owed a love debt in her previous life and was doomed to suffer in this life?
Her tears fell in pain, but her heart continued to ache. Every moment, every night, alone, she felt as if her heart was being cut out and her soul torn away.
Wanting to forget, but couldn’t.
Wanting to break free, but couldn’t.
Wanting to hate, but couldn’t.
Su Manlu, can you be more promising?
Fallen to the ground in embarrassment, Su Manlu painfully closed her eyes, bit her lip, shrank her body, and buried her face in her bent knees.
Yan Feixi followed her, looking at her like a wounded child, without whimpering or crying, just silent, but it was extremely heartbreaking.
He walked toward her, squatted down, and reached out to touch her. “Manlu.”
“Don’t touch me.” Su Manlu looked up. There were no tears on her pale face, only deep exhaustion. “You said you were tempted by me and fell in love with me, right?”
Yan Feixi didn’t pull back his hand but continued to touch her cold cheek. She didn’t push him away; her dark pupils gazed steadily at him. Under her gaze, he nodded. “Yes.”
“But I don’t want your love, nor do I want you to be nice to me, because the nicer and gentler you are, the more painful my heart will be...”
Her lips trembled with excitement. Maybe too much wine had relaxed her tightly locked heart a little, or perhaps the overwhelming pain had caused her to collapse completely, making her unable to endure or suppress it any longer.
She was tired—completely tired.
“Your smile and tenderness make me think of my past... the humble me who sacrificed everything to receive just a bit of warmth from you, the me who gave everything to earn a smile from you... If this continues, I’m terrified. I’m afraid I really want to take revenge on you.”
She hated and resented him, but she never wanted revenge, because... she still loved him.
That love was buried deep within her heart, something she never dared to touch or acknowledge.
How deep the love was, and how intense the hatred. She was afraid... afraid that one day the hatred in her heart would surpass her passion, and she would go mad, look hideous, and destroy everything.
She didn’t want that; she just wanted to live peacefully and forget him, without love or hate.
Why didn’t he fulfill her wish? Why did he keep provoking her? Why keep pestering her? Why wouldn’t he let her go...
“It’s okay.” Yan Feixi spoke softly and hugged her into his arms with pity. “If you want to take revenge, then do it. You can hate and blame me to your heart’s content, and vent your anger and pain on me. I’m thick-skinned and can handle it. So...” He raised her small face, looked at her distressedly, and said, “Don’t hide all your sorrow and grievances in your heart. Your sadness comes from me, and your grievances stem from me. I’m the culprit. You can hit me, scold me, or chop me with a knife, but don’t hold back and bear it alone.”
Su Manlu bit her lip and stared at him blankly. Her red eyes were hesitant and helpless. At that moment, she was no longer the shrewd eldest young lady of the Su family, but a woman who had been hurt by love.
She wasn’t sure if she could trust him. The pain in her heart was so deep, and unbearable memories kept flooding her mind, leaving her scared and terrified.
She didn’t know what to do... She was always in a panic about him.
Yan Feixi noticed her expression and felt an unspeakable distress.
He didn’t force her, said nothing, and turned his back to her. “Come on, I’ll carry you back.”
Looking at his broad back, Su Manlu recalled that night in the forest, when he squatted and knelt in this way, saying he wanted to carry her on his back.
Her eyes suddenly became hot. She lowered her face, stood up, and lay down on his back.
Yan Feixi easily lifted her and walked home in silence.
For a long time, her cold, small hands hugged his neck, her small face pressed against the back of his shoulder, and he felt a warmth dampening the fabric on his shoulders.
He paused briefly, then continued walking.
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